35-year-old guy gets shamed by friends for dating a 43-year-old woman, only to discover they were trying to get him back together with his ex: 'We're done being friends'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 15, 2025 11:00 PM EDT

Age-gap romances are, shall we say, trendy at the moment. We've seen them in best-selling books like Robinne Lee's The Idea of You as well as popular movies like, well, the Anne Hathaway-starring adaptation of The idea of You. Not to mention multiple Nicole Kidman-led projects last year, from Babygirl to A Family Affair. 

These dynamics are always fascinating, and clearly, audiences are interested, which is why it is a bit peculiar that people are still passing judgment on their friends' casual relationships where the age gap is nowhere nearly as stark as they are in those films. It just goes to show that the way we talk about certain social dynamics within the world of pop culture is very different from the ways in which we approach those same dynamics in life.

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    Cheezburger Image 10479933440
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tuğ)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Here, we have a 35-year-old guy who was set up by his Mom with a 43-year-old woman. Honestly, the involvement of the guy's mom is more eyebrow-raising than the eight-year difference between the two single people, especially since both parties are over 30. The guy's friends were constantly throwing shade about the age gap, to the point that he could sense there was something else going on, and indeed, he was right.

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    "Finally found out why my friends don't want me going on my date tonight. Pretty annoyed."

    For context I'm 35m, and my date is 43f. We actually met because she's in a hobby group with my mom and she encouraged us to go out together. 2 of my friends
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    and their girlfriends didn't approve when they found out. At first it was because she was a few years older than me and because she's a friend of my mom's, but after pointing out that
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    at our age 8 years is not a big gap and my mom was supportive they just called it "weird and creepy" to date her.
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    Eventually after everyone else I asked seemed confused about the problem like I was they came clean and admitted they had been talking to my ex that left me
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    a year ago and she had been missing me. My ex is friends with the 2 disapproving girlfriends and they all have been planning to try and get us back together like some kind of trashy romance plot.
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    My ex left me after we were together for a year because she "just didn't feel right" about our relationship. Hurt like h I at the time, but I've moved on. I've run
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    into her a few times and been polite, but I have no interest in a relationship or even a friendship with her. She's not part of my life anymore and I'm keeping it that way.
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    My friends made me feel like I was crazy and weird for wanting to go on a date with a woman I get along with (we've hung out a lot in other settings just not a date yet) all so they could try and
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    force my ex back into my life. Ex texted me this morning asking if we could meet up and talk and I told her that I wasn't interested in anything she'd have to say and that I'd like to keep my distance
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    from her. I'm also putting some distance between my two friends who were playing along with their girlfriends' stupid game.
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    On the plus side I'm really looking forward to our date tonight. Dinner, drinks, and a walk through town to enjoy the nice weather we're getting.
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    Cheezburger Image 10479933696
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tuğ)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We're thankful that this guy was able to identify that his friends really just had an ulterior motive the entire time, and that he maintained his agency in going on a date with this lady. On top of that, it sounds like it was worth it both in terms of how the date went and the future of his toxic friendship with these people.

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    Update Just got home. Did NOT expect this much support. Figured I'd let anyone finding this late or checking back in know. Date went very well.
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    Haven't had a first date go that well I think ever tbh. Second date has already been planned. I'll be cooking dinner and we'll be watching a few terrible movies we both share a love for.
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    As for my cry ex friends I've already told them we're done being friends. Luckily they are part of a separate social circle from my main group of friends so it's a very easy "breakup"
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    process there. Ex tried calling me. Went ahead and blocked her everywhere I could think of. Not letting those idiots ruin an otherwise amazing night.
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    Thanks again for everyone's supportive words. I know I made the right call but its nice to be validated ya know?
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    throwcharles12 19h ago . Trying to manipulate you into canceling a date because they care more about the feelings of the girl that dumped you doesn't really sound like something real friends would do.
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    BirthdayInfamou... $ 17h ago I feel like if you're in your 30s dating some older than you, the age gap thing doesn't matter. Regardless, this is a really weird thing for your friends to do.
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    Delicious-Pickle-... 16h ago . The "friend of my mom's" thing is a weird dynamic, but if you're cool with it, whatever. You're 35, she's 43, you're both old enough that age gaps don't really mean much. My ex (10 years
    via ChaffChampion
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    together) was 5 years older than me, and so is the woman I'm going to dinner with tomorrow night. It's not weird when you're both mature adults with real adult life experience. Also, your friends are c S.
    via ChaffChampion

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Dating-Relationships friendship dating fails ex girlfriend friends entitled people karma exes love breakup dating entitled people dating advice
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